An Existential Meltdown

I grew up with the notion that God and his angels started off all happy up in heaven, and then one day one angel decided he was as good as God and ruined everything. He chose to go against God and evil was born. He was banished to hell, along with anyone who followed him. From then on there were the Trinity and the good angels in heaven, and Lucifer became "the devil," or Satan, and had all his fallen angels, also known as demons, with him in hell.

Hmm. I'm thinking that's not really how it all went down, but the more I study the more confused I get.

It seems that the name "Lucifer" is the Latin translation of "Morning Star" or "Day star" referenced in Isaiah 14:12 which is a taunt directed to the king of Babylon. (Read Isaiah 14.)

But then this same term is used in 2 Peter 1:19: "And we have the word of the prophets made more certain, and you will do well to pay attention to it, as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts."

And again in Revelation 22:16 : "I, Jesus, have sent my angel to give you this testimony for the churches. I am the Root and the Offspring of David, and the bright Morning Star."

So Jesus claims to be the Morning Star, which in Latin is Lucifer? That's confusing.

Also, I always blamed evil on Satan (Lucifer). He was the one who became evil and now taunts humans and causes all kinds of evil in the world, right? But John 1:1-3 says: "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning.
Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made."

So, nothing that has ever been made was made apart from God, including sin and evil?
Maybe someone who has more knowledge can shed more light on this for me.

And what about Beelzebub (aka Ba'al Zebûb, Lord of Things That Fly, Lord of the Flies), the deity that was being worshiped and was called "the prince of demons" by the Pharisees in Matthew 12:24: "But when the Pharisees heard this, they said, "It is only by Beelzebub, the prince of demons, that this fellow drives out demons."

Why do we assume these are all the same-- the serpant, Satan, the Morning Star or Day Star or Lucifer, Beelzebub?

I know so little. Maybe none of it matters. Maybe it matters a lot. I don't know. But can I blame the origins of evil on "the enemy" or was it just God's plan all along that it would exist? I'm not sure. But it does exist. I believe that God is the victor and in Him I will be too. I believe that God loves us all very much and we are to love like Him. But it's all very confusing to me right now...

Lent

Even now, says the LORD,
return to me with your whole heart,
with fasting, and weeping, and mourning;
Rend your hearts, not your garments,
and return to the LORD, your God.

-Joel 2:12-13

Today is Ash Wednesday and marks the beginning of the Lent season, the 40 days leading up to Easter. What will I give up? And why? I believe it's good to set apart times to do something different and refocus. I want to observe Lent, not out of ritual, but as a true sacrifice from my heart. I want to rend my heart and return to the Lord my God once again.

I'm still praying about what to give up. I'm a little late this time, but I'll figure it out before the day is over. Do you observe Lent? Why? If you do, what are you giving up this season?

Burnin' Down The House

I have been chipping away slowly at this book New Seeds of Contemplation by Thomas Merton. I only get to read a paragraph or two at a time, but believe me, there's a lot to chew on in each paragraph. So I was reading along and all of a sudden I felt like he had read my mail. He described exactly what I have been going through. It's been a time of questioning all, reworking in my mind, finding new understanding, or finding that I lack the understanding I thought I had. I told Chris just the other day, "The more I learn, the less I find I know."

I totally connected with Merton's words. Read this paragraph:
Let no one hope to find in contemplation an escape from conflict, from anguish or from doubt. On the contrary, the deep, inexpressible certitude of the contemplative experience awakens a tragic anguish and opens many questions in the depths of the heart like wounds that cannot stop bleeding. For every gain in deep certitude there is a corresponding growth of superficial "doubt." This doubt is by no means opposed to genuine faith, but it mercilessly examines and questions the spurious "faith" of everyday life, the human faith which is nothing but the passive acceptance of conventional opinion. This false "faith" which is what we often live by and which we even come to confuse with our "religion" is subjected to inexorable questioning. This torment is a kind of trial by fire in which we are compelled, by the very light of invisible truth which reached us in the dark ray of contemplation, to examine, to doubt and finally to reject all the prejudices and conventions that we have hitherto accepted as if they were dogmas. Hence is it clear that genuine contemplation is incompatible with complacency and with smug acceptance of prejudiced opinions. It is not mere passive acquiescence in the status quo, as some would like to believe--for this would reduce it to the level of spiritual anesthesia. Contemplation is no pain-killer. What a holocaust takes place in this steady burning to ashes of old worn-out words, clichés, slogans, rationalizations! The worst of it is that even apparently holy conceptions are consumed with all the rest. It is a terrible breaking and burning of idols, a purification of the sanctuary, so that no graven thing may occupy the place that God has commanded to be left empty: the center, the existential altar which simply "is."

Wow. What else can I say.

Interesting Quiz For You

I came across this quiz (click on that) and thought it was kind of interesting. It's 20 questions about faith and then they tell you who your answers line up with. Take it and share your results with me, then I'll post mine...