Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Fuzzy Discourse


My mind is a blur. I feel like God is trying to communicate with me but there's a layer of static enveloping the message and fuzzing it up. Can you hear it too? Like a record that has reached the end, but keeps spinning and hissing "sssshhhhhhhhsshhhhhshh..."

Here's what I know - very little. OK, but here's what I have - Chris and I have been going through some old boxes of papers and "stuff" that have been cluttering the garage forever. Chris came across two envelopes. One had my name written in my handwriting, one had his name in his handwriting, both with cards inside. Inside my card I had written simply "Isaiah 42." Inside Chris's he had written "Isaiah 42:1-4." Neither of us recall when the heck we wrote this down and sealed it up, nor why we did it, but there we found it years later. So I looked it up. Then as I read, I recalled how I had gotten this passage once upon a time and really felt like God was trying to tell me something through it back then. Even at that time when I first received it, it was unclear just what the message was, though I had some thoughts on it. Now I read it again as this vague sense of déjà vu came over me.
Anyone want to read it and tell me their thoughts?

And - I was just recalling how fairly recently I felt like there was "an exodus" coming. (I think I even declared so on facebook.) Not really sure what it meant, but I was very excited about it. I thought at the time it might mean an exodus from my dry "dessert" time, but now I'm thinking maybe it wasn't an exodus from the dessert, but rather from Egypt into the dessert. If I spend 40 years here I will truly die.
If that's where I am though, I do think I'm getting my daily manna. So... perhaps I overreacted and I won't die after all.
I'm ready for the roller coaster to stop.